Saturday, June 21, 2008

Another Year Has Passed

Last Monday the 16th we remembered once again the life and death of our sweet Charlsie Grace. I had planned on posting about it that very day but since we went to her grave so late it did not work out. Then I got so busy this week that it got pushed aside. For now I will share with you how we remembered her and what we did to celebrate her life.

Since I had told the kids we were going to make cupcakes for Baby Charlsie they were eagerly anticipating the day. They kept talking about it and planing it excitedly.

My original plan had been to eat a quick breakfast, make the cupcakes, and then head out to the grave while it was still cool. Well good thing I have learned some flexibility because we did not actually end up heading out till much later. The kids helped me make the cupcakes, we decided on German Chocolate so that Charlsie Grace could see daddy's favorite cake! We let them cool and got ready for nap. Right before nap time we all talked about missing Baby Charlsie and quite a few tears were shed!

Around 4 or 5 we headed out to our HEB to buy balloons and special flowers. Maddie picked a balloon that said Happy Birthday and Micah picked one that said We Miss You. Very appropriate choices I thought!!! The kids and Michael then helped me pick out some sweet pink flowers for her.

At her grave we wrote special messages on the balloons and then released them, I would have preferred more of a ceremony with them but the kids just haphazardly let them go. As Michael said, "Lets not make this a somber occasion" and you know what we didn't, sure there were some tears but there were lots of smiles and giggles too. Next we ate our cupcakes and put one on Baby Charlsie's grave. We each "talked" to our sweet girl which was an incredibly special time to hear what everyone has been thinking and feeling. We said our goodbyes and headed down the hill to share some birthday cupcakes with our family. Then as a special treat we ate out as a family.

It has been so incredible for me to see how my children handle this situation and the emotions that have surfaced this year. There is much more sorrow and more of an understanding of what is going on, this is especially true for Micah. I look forward to many more years of helping our children know and understand their little sister, Baby Charlsie. As for me I just wish I could hold my sweet little two year old girl and see what she looks like. Perhaps God will grant a glimpse of this before heaven.....
I will try to post pictures of our time soon!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Mommy Brain and a Surprise!

Recently we went to a church meeting with some friends, they had invited us to check out their church and since they had night service we decided to go. The pastor walked up to us and asked our names and as I was shaking his hand I said "Hi my name is Michael..., oh whoops no it's not he's Michael and I'm Charlsie" I was so incredibly embarrassed!!! Now though I know that I had good reason for that mommy brain slip up.

Yes we had a Mother's Day surprise....we are expecting another little blessing. I am about 9weeks along and due in mid Jan. We are all very excited and while everyone in the family is hoping for a boy, I really don't care either way. We are planing on going with another homebirth and I am so incredibly excited about it.

I was recently very struck by this quote and thought I would share it with you!

The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in our culture we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture. ~ Doug Phillips