Monday, November 03, 2008

Are They a Blessing???

The event I am about to post about actually happened last Thursday, I have been mulling it around in my head and trying to decide if I actually want to even write about it. The biggest thing holding me back is my fear of getting flamed by others who believe as the person in my post believes. Then I had a chance to talk to my friend GfG and she encouraged me to write about what happened. So here is what happened last Thursday....

I decided to vote early and after putting it off for several days decided to go Thursday. My dh was out of town so I loaded up the kids and off we went. On the way I talked with them about what we were going to do and how important voting is and what it means to vote. We also talked about how it was very important to use inside voices and keep our hands to ourselves. They were now prepped and ready. I put Lainey in her car seat and Micah pushed her while I held Maddie's hand. We walked in and went to our precinct to get our ballot. There were two ladies at the table and one of them said in a pleasant voice "oh you have 3 children" then looking right at my belly she went on to say in a not so pleasant voice "and you are going to have another one!" I did the best I could with my response and said "each of our children is a blessing" I can't remember what she said after that but the other lady, perhaps embarrased by the comment, said "they certainly are well behaved" I was glad she said that but it certainly did not make up for what the other lady had said. I voted and got out of there. And you know what, my kids were really on their best behavior, that was not the reason the lady made her unpleasant remark.

When I got to my car her remark really hit me! I felt sick to my stomach. Normally if someone says something rude about our family size I have been able to blow it off and be ok. For some reason this one was different. I wanted to cry and it took me awhile to get over her comment. When I arrived home I realized that I was also upset that she would have the audacity to say that remark in front of my children. Thankfully it went over their head, and they were able to hear their mommy say they were a blessing! But really her comment implied that this next child is not a blessing and why in the world would I want another one? I wonder how many is too many to this lady.

We personally belive that every child is a blessing and why in the world would we turn away a blessing that God would bestow upon us? We are trying to raise our children to love Jesus and we train them to be obedient. Each of them is a huge joy in our lives and we can't imagine our lives without them! Well this post is getting long enough, I suppose I want to leave you with this....Let's rejoice with others when they are expecting another little one whether it be #1 or #9. It'a good to get that off my chest!

11 Comments:

Blogger P.S. He loves you.. said...

When my dh and I were first married we took care of his sister's 4 children..for about 6 months.

One time we were in a parking lot and a complete stranger passing by stuck his head into our car as we were loading up and said.."how many do you have in there?!"
Then scuffled and walked off..this left my hubs and I dumbfounded!

What bussiness is it of his anyways?

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt.

9:54 AM

 
Blogger The Stoddard's said...

Rock on Mama! You are right, they are all blessings...whether they are screaming at you in public or throwing a monster fit. What would our lives be like without all of them!

11:51 AM

 
Blogger Best Life said...

People used to say to me (right in front of my kids), "How many kids do you HAVE?! You poor thing!" Oh it burned me up! But I realized their ignorance and it really is their problem. The best thing for your kids to see is that you have a gentle, loving attitude towards the rude comments. I love to just pour the honey on with a reply like you said. I will often say, "Oh yes! It's so wonderful! They are the joy of my life!" What can a person say to that?! LP~

7:38 PM

 
Blogger Grateful for Grace said...

Amen!

It used to make me angry and not it just makes me sad. Sad for them. Sad that my kids hear them. Sad that it's the most common way to view children in our country.

What a blessing YOU are to the LORD. To your children. To those around you, Charlsie.

May you continue to be the fragrance of Christ to a lost world.

4:53 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praise God for your attitude...and Your children KNOW they are loved and cherished not only by you but by GOD...As a mom of 4 who had planned 2 I know God does KNOW best.Each one adds a part to your completeness...missing 1- you are not complete...AND whose business is it if God has a plan.To bad our world does not cherish our little ones as much as they should...MIMI43grlz

10:12 AM

 
Blogger ~kristi said...

her children call her blessed too!

2:59 PM

 
Blogger The Gossmanns said...

Wow, good word. I think people need to hear a mother using the word "blessing" in regards to her children, rather than "brat" or "terror" - words that people often say when you have a toddler by your side. I think you responded perfectly and you are right - your children heard you respond with pleasure over them and THAT is what counts.

Thanks for being real and vulnerable and such a Godly woman, all at the same time. Miss you tons.

7:37 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the number of my children is broached negatively by a stranger, I start boasting and singing their praises (my children's praises). I go on and on - it's like I can't shut up... or go away. I browbeat the person(s)with stories about our family and the kids and homeschooling and c-sections and diapers and..., but it comes out something like this: You are looking lovely today.
GFG's Husband

8:20 PM

 
Blogger Jamie Jo said...

When I was expecting #4 I think it was the hardest. People looked at me like I had no clue what "caused that." Just be encouraged. Once you have four, people seem to assume you are doing this on purpose, and then admire you rather than criticize. That was my experience, anyway. Total strangers would come up and ask why we had so many children, but it was in a curious, respectful way, not the snarly anti-children way. Hang in there! I'm praying for this pregnancy.

1:57 PM

 
Blogger Becky said...

It's a clash of worldviews-this lady was concerned with overpopulation and the strain on 'mother earth'. You're depending on God and his ability to sustain you and you children for as many as he gives you-it's a total, violent clash with this world's sytem-a system that eliminates those that are inconvienient. God bless you as you fight this world's system by loving your kids and raising them to love God.

9:52 AM

 
Blogger Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Um.

My mom's best friend, I have not gotten along with her since, well, birth. She is just not very nice. On Labor Day wkend I was at her daughter, my friend's, and had just found out I was pg with Ike. I was thrilled - some of my kiddos were surprises, but he definitely wasn't. It accidentally got out that I was pregnant - I had told my friend, but had no desire to tell her mom, and her mom looked at me and said, "What?" and I said, "yeah, we just found out we're pregnant." and she said, "Oh."

THAT'S ALL SHE SAID!!!!! I stood there in the kitchen, with a dumb look on my face, waiting for her to say something else, and she just walked away. Oh my gosh, I had to give myself a huge talking-to to not let it ruin my whole day! I know that nauseated feeling well. And she's Catholic!! Come on!!

You know what I decided I am going to do from now on - if I am not too angry to speak - is to look at them and say "Why?" I wish I had looked at her and said "Why aren't you congratulating me Charlotte?" and made her squirm. But it on her.

Of course, since I came up with this grand plan, I have not had any rude comments. But I will.

Have you ever seen this site?
http://www.plomp.com/largefam/comebacks.htm

1:46 PM

 

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