Finish The Race!

It's Been 3 Years

2009-06-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we celebrated a life, not a life that we knew out of utero but a life non the less. Charlsie Grace has been gone for 3 years now, she was my daughter and my children's sister. It's funny I always imagine, every year, how we will celebrate her life, it never turns out how I imagine it, but every year it's perfect.

This past year has been easier in terms of her death, I don't cry quite as much, but I still do cry. Yesterday I thought I would have some time to look over her pictures, remember her birth, and think about the short 32 weeks I had her inside of me. Instead (and I smile as I write this) I was snuggling and nursing 2 teething babies who were a bit misserable and in need of mommy love. I finally made it to Wal Mart at about 6pm to get the necessary items for the celebration. Wasn't what I had planned but that's ok. We have added another member to our family since last year so Baby Charlsie has another brother. This yearly tradition of remembering our daughter and sister has turned into a really special family time. I want my children to remember their sister, she is still part of our family even though she is up in heaven.

Can you see the balloon? Every year we write a special message to baby Charlsie and send the balloons up up up and away!

The kids getting ready to send off their baloons.

Eating cream puffs!

Sweet Lainey not feeling so hot!

Having fun in the sun, it's a Celebration of life after all!

2009-06-12T13:03:00.001-07:00

Belly laugh!!!

Couldn't resist adding this one....

Houston Children's Museum

NASA

Sweet Lainey...who is potty training btw!

Ok Lisa are ya happy now ? :)

Picture Post

2009-06-12T12:50:00.001-07:00

My two handsome boys! Doesn't Josiah's face just crack you up!!!

We recently went to a party and someone gave the girls some "contraband" i.e. cheese balls! They never eat them at home so you can imagine how they scarfed them down!

The kids are so helpful with the baby :)

In case anyone questions where this little guy was born!
You know how we Texans can be....(whoops I'm not a Texan!) I guess it's rubbed off on me!

My Most Polite Child

2009-05-31T18:51:00.001-07:00

Peas, Peas, Peas, no she's not asking for a vegetable that's just her cute little way of saying "please". The "peas" are quickly turning into a full on Please though and I find myself missing her mispronunciation!
My other children are all pretty polite and know to say please and thank you but my 20mo, Lainey, was by far the youngest to learn these words. She started out by signing "more" when she was a baby, then she started saying the word "more". Eventually her daddy wanted me to teach her to sign the word "please" but from past experience with other children and the mess they make when this is signed I asked if I could wait on that one~ you see for "please" you place your flat palm on your chest and rub it around in a circular motion~ let me tell you this can get really messy when you are eating and when do kids use the word "please" the most?...you got it! So instead of signing it I started saying it to her every time she wanted something, then as soon as she learned to say it I started requiring her to say it for everything. Now the word "Peas" is an automatic response for her and she sounds so incredibly cute every time she says it! The hard part is when she really wants something and says it incessantly!!!! Seriously you can hardly get her to stop, but hey better that than screaming or throwing a fit right? :) Oh and the funny part is that sometime she will sign "more" while saying "peas" or if we try to get her to say "more please" she will say "mease". Oh and we have added "tank do" to the mix.

As an added note she is usually very smiley but these were the only recent pics I had of her so they had to do! Next post will be updated pics of the kids...those who know me IRL will not believe how big my little man is!

Now I'm THAT Mom

2009-05-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

I recently had a new friend over. We had never met but had both gone to the same church in the town that we moved from. We had heard about one another through mutual friends and were finally able to get together. I really enjoyed our visit and look forward to getting together more! We have yet to meet many people in this new town so this was certainly a ray of sunshine!

After she left I got to thinking and realized that now I'm THAT mom. The mom with four kids that I used to look up to when I only had one or maybe two. The mom that homeschooled and still had a semblance of normalcy in her home. I remembered how I used to think "how does she do it" "I can barely do it with one" "wow her house looks pretty clean" "her kids are so well behaved." Then I started thinking that if I'm now THAT mom, well the fallacies should be revealed! You see now that I'm THAT mom I realize that the house is clean because you and two of your older children have run around like crazy people trying to clean up and get things in order! Now that I'm THAT mom I realize that it is only by God's grace that my children behave and that you missed the disrespectful attitude that the middle child displayed earlier that day. Now that I'm THAT mom I realize that having older kids to entertain and help with the younger children really makes having four almost easier than one. Now that I'm THAT mom I truly see that it is only through HIM that I am able to do all of this. Now that I'm THAT mom I also see the importance of being real with others and sharing my struggles so they realize that I'm not really THAT mom!

Now that I'm THAT mom I have found myself looking up to THOSE moms, you know, the ones with 7,8,9-18 kids! Their lives seem so orderly and together while I feel like mine has much chaos and messyness!!! The ones who make all their own food, have their own garden, milk their own cow, homeschool, and lead a Bible study. But you know what, now that I have realized that I have become THAT mom, THOSE moms don't intimidate me quite so much anymore because I bet that when I get there I'll realize that they are just like me!

Now for a family update. Josiah is now 4mo. We are having so much fun with him. Everyone enjoys him and he brings so many smiles to our family. We are continuing to adjust to our new home and contnue our search for a new church family. (why oh why does this have to be so hard!) We are doing some fun experiments in our homeschool with red cabage and acidic foods as well as reading some fun book like In Grandma's Attic and Hudson Taylor. I'm contnuing to learn more about healthy eating and natural living and I love it!
Till next time,
Charlsie

Josiah's birth!

2009-02-19T20:15:00.001-08:00

Since I know so many of you(well at least one of you) are clamoring for my birth story I will indulge you and divulge! Actually if truth be told I am a sucker for your wonderful comments and this story is sure to make you come out of the woodwork! I mean who can resist a good birth story. I personally love to hear them! Plus the little guy is a month old and we all know that if I don't get this written out soon I will forget some of the important details.

The whole thing started Friday morning. Lainey (my 15mo) woke up and had an unusually long nursing session. As she nursed my contractions started to get closer together and a bit more intense. I was really excited and started to think that this was it! Well about 30 minutes after she stopped nursing the contractions tapered off and started being much more irregular. They did stay fairly intense though. I had a midwife appointment that day and since the contractions were not regular we decided to go see her just in case I did not go into labor for a few more days. We went to San Antonio where she practices and had a nice family day. We ate at Chick-fil-a which the kids love and did a little shopping. We even bought our car seat, yes a little last minute I know!

All that time I was having contractions anywhere from an hour apart to about 10 minutes apart and they were all fairly intense, some of them made me pause and concentrate my way through them. When we got home and got the kids in bed Michael and I watched a movie I think and then went to bed about 10. By this point I was pretty sure I was in labor but I decided that I needed to get any rest I could so I didn't really mention it. Oh and I lost some of my mucus plug right before bed. I kept getting up to use the restroom about every hour and officially woke up at 2am knowing I was in full blown labor. I didn't know how far along I was so I decided to let Michael sleep for awhile longer. At this point I found myself hanging out in the bathroom on the throne if you know what I mean...for some reason this was the most comfortable place for me to be. At 3am the dog woke Michael up and I decided it was a good time to tell him I was in labor. He started running around getting things ready. We turned up the hot water heater so there would be plenty of water for my birthing tub (aka the big inflatable pool). I am still hanging out on the throne having to relax and concentrate my way through contractions now. I kept wondering if I was in transition because I kept having the self doubt thoughts that normally come at that time...I just kept quoting "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!" I can't tell you how much peace that gave me.

Somehow I found my way back to our bedroom, I think I was checking on Michael's progress with getting the birthing tub set up. I was needing some relief from my contractions. It was set up in a corner and he was filling it up with water. I looked over at the floor and said "babe is there water on the floor or am I just seeing things." No the pool had not leaked it turned out that because we had turned up the hot water heater, per the instructions of the birthing pool, it had started to overflow. Well it overflowed from the next room, through the wall and onto the brand new laminate wood flooring that had been installed just 2 days before. My dear hubby was freaking out a bit! So yes poor dh was franticly trying to dry the floor, and get the pool ready for me. I am trying to help in between contractions and not doing a very good job of it and am told to stop and go concentrate. Well by this time it is 3:30am and hubby says he thinks we should call the midwife. Well I feel bad calling at this time of night so I say why don't we wait a bit longer and see if this is really it. I would hate for her to come all this way for nothing! Well praise God that my hubby knows me so well because he insists on calling her and tells her to come on because I am in labor. After that I decide he is probably right and call my parents to come too. I called my friend GFG but unfortunatly she was not by her phone and missed it!(we were both pretty bummed about that)

By this time the pool is almost ready and I gratefully get in it. Because of the hot water heater mishap Michael has been alternating between using the hose and boiling water to put in the birthing tub. The water helps me deal with my contractions a little bit and then I notice that I have entered into the phase of labor where I get pretty serious and intense. My parents arrive, mom comes in with me and dad hangs out in the living room. Now it is probably around 4:30. I begine to feel the urge to push but am not totally sure so I sort of dismiss it. I feel like this is much to soon for that. At about 4:45 the midwives arrive and begin to set up. I tell them that I would like my cervix checked because I have the urge to push but am not sure...well she checks it and says "Yep he is right there I can feel his head". Boy does that give me some hope!!! I am almost done. Soon after that I start pushing. I decided to stay in the birthing tub to see what delivery is like in there. Someone goes and gets Micah and Maddie because they wanted to see their brother being born. The pushing is intense and as soon as I start I wish I could stop. I can relax and concentrate my way through contractions but pushing is something I really dislike!!! I backed way up against the side of the pool sort of trying to escape the pain. I am still in control though and don't freak out. I make low groaning noises through the pushing to try to help. With the first push my water breaks. After his head is out I ask them if they can't just pull the rest of him out and of course they tell me they can't! Then I pushed his chest out and decide I really don't like seeing him there underwater. It is a bit strange and he looked almost dead to me which is just not something I can deal with. Finally I pushed all of him out and Michael caught him. I immediatly took him and held him close to me. Then I had to put his body underwater so he would stay warm. It was such a relief to get him out and be done with the pushing! After he was born we found out that he was posterior and although I did not have back labor my contractions were still a little harder than normal to manage and that must be why. We waited till the cord stopped pulsing and Micah, my 5 yo, cut the cord. Since he was born at 4:57 the midwives had arrived with just about 10min. to spare. The kids were so glad that they got to see their little brother be born! It was such a special labor and I was so blessed to be able to do it in the comfort of my own home! I loved that the kids got to be there and experience it. .

I'm sorry that was so long...I hope you were able to get through it. There is even more to be told but for space sake and your time I am leaving it out. I hope you enjoyed my story though and if you can any questions about homebirth or midwives please e-mail me!

And baby makes 6

2009-01-25T18:14:00.001-08:00

Here is the newest addition to our family. Sweet baby Josiah was born at home, daddy caught him, and big brother Micah cut the cord! Thank you to my good friend GfG for making this cute announcement. I will share the birth story soon!

Diluted Weewee

2008-12-16T17:51:00.000-08:00

Several of you have been after me to write a new post....well boy have I got a story for you!

This weekend we were all headed to Target for some shopping, Michael got the kids loaded in the car while I locked up the apartment. As I got in the car I saw him spitting out some water, he quickly asked "how long has that water been in here?" As soon as I saw the bottle he was asking about I started laughing so hard that I had tears streaming down my face. I could not get the words out to explain to him what had happened. Part of me felt horrible for what I was going to explain to him, part of me was a little scared about his reaction, and part of me wanted to stop laughing so I could show proper remorse. Well as all of these parts of me waged inside I was pointing at Micah and trying to explain. Finally I got the words out "Micah peed in that bottle."

You see the previous day he had been desperate for the potty and that was my solution. (yes I am that kind of mom, sorry to disappoint you) Obviously I should have disposed of said bottle at the earliest convenience but to be honest when unloading the car bottles with pee in them are not at the top of my list. Diaper bag, baby, groceries, and other things are much much higher on that list!

Oh and you know how I said that part of me was a little scared at what his reaction might be...well I have such a wonderful sweet hubby that after he finished giving me a couple of annoyed looks over how much I was laughing he actually said "It really didn't taste all that bad."

Hubby says,"Thank God it was watered down!"

Some humor for your day!

2008-11-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday while I was making a breakfast of french toast for the kids Micah comes up and puts one hand on the left side of my belly and and his other hand on the right side. Then he exclaims "mommy you are huge!" Yes I know, just what I want to hear early in the morning. Thankfully he mumbled something about being pregnant or about his little brother getting bigger....I can't exactly remember....Normally I love how candid children are and how they are so innocent in what they say in fact Micah probably thought he was giving me a compliment! There are however sometime, like the one I just mentioned, when you wish they were not quite so candid!
I really am thankful for the humor my children bring to my life! What about you, what are you thankful for?

Are They a Blessing???

2008-11-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

The event I am about to post about actually happened last Thursday, I have been mulling it around in my head and trying to decide if I actually want to even write about it. The biggest thing holding me back is my fear of getting flamed by others who believe as the person in my post believes. Then I had a chance to talk to my friend GfG and she encouraged me to write about what happened. So here is what happened last Thursday....

I decided to vote early and after putting it off for several days decided to go Thursday. My dh was out of town so I loaded up the kids and off we went. On the way I talked with them about what we were going to do and how important voting is and what it means to vote. We also talked about how it was very important to use inside voices and keep our hands to ourselves. They were now prepped and ready. I put Lainey in her car seat and Micah pushed her while I held Maddie's hand. We walked in and went to our precinct to get our ballot. There were two ladies at the table and one of them said in a pleasant voice "oh you have 3 children" then looking right at my belly she went on to say in a not so pleasant voice "and you are going to have another one!" I did the best I could with my response and said "each of our children is a blessing" I can't remember what she said after that but the other lady, perhaps embarrased by the comment, said "they certainly are well behaved" I was glad she said that but it certainly did not make up for what the other lady had said. I voted and got out of there. And you know what, my kids were really on their best behavior, that was not the reason the lady made her unpleasant remark.

When I got to my car her remark really hit me! I felt sick to my stomach. Normally if someone says something rude about our family size I have been able to blow it off and be ok. For some reason this one was different. I wanted to cry and it took me awhile to get over her comment. When I arrived home I realized that I was also upset that she would have the audacity to say that remark in front of my children. Thankfully it went over their head, and they were able to hear their mommy say they were a blessing! But really her comment implied that this next child is not a blessing and why in the world would I want another one? I wonder how many is too many to this lady.

We personally belive that every child is a blessing and why in the world would we turn away a blessing that God would bestow upon us? We are trying to raise our children to love Jesus and we train them to be obedient. Each of them is a huge joy in our lives and we can't imagine our lives without them! Well this post is getting long enough, I suppose I want to leave you with this....Let's rejoice with others when they are expecting another little one whether it be #1 or #9. It'a good to get that off my chest!

Good Intentions!

2008-10-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

Ok I know it is unprecedented for me to post twice in one day but I just couldn't pass this one up. Yesterday Maddie asked me if she could clean the bathtub for me. I said yes of course and let her have at it. My kids love "cleaning" but it's mostly because they enjoy using the squirt bottles! She stayed in the bathtub for quite some time diligently squirting and scrubbing. Later when I went in there to check out her work I was amused to see that the walls and such were really pretty clean but the bottom of the bathtub was full of dirty little footprints. I now wish I had taken a picture because it really was quite cute! I'm not sure how she missed the little mess she left but she certainly did have GOOD INTENTIONS!

Update!

2008-10-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

The Chore Chart System is going great, the only problem is that we haven't been around enough to really get in the swing of things. We have been out of town a bunch as well as babysitting my little cousin last week out at her house.

Micah just loves doing his chores and is so motivated, it is really a joy to watch. Last weekend he even said that he wished we did not have to go visit daddy so that we could stay home and do our chores! Now that is something. Micah also loves redeeming his "coins" for fun things. He has used them for games on the computer and special reading time with mommy!

Maddie is not quite as motivated but when she sees Micah doing his chores she jumps right in. Oh and it is really sweet because a lot of the time they will help each other with their chores of their own initiative.

I am really REALLY liking this system. I love not having to remind them to do certain chores, I can just say go check your chore chart and see what you need to do (and most of the time I don't even have to remind them!)

Oh and for those of you who are interested in getting this product if you get a group together the owners might give you a discount!

Chore Chart

2008-10-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

I was recently introduced to a wonderful product that while new to me has proved incredibly useful to many families for many years. Thanks to the new homeschool group I have been blessed to be a part of I was able to purchase this product. It is a childrens chore system that makes keeping track of chores simple for mother and child. I have not actually implemented mine yet as I just recieved it last night but my kids are already excited about starting it! One reason they are excited is that they earn tokens and then they can redem the tokens for prizes. And the beauty of the prizes is that they can be simple and cost very little or nothing at all. Some ideas I have for prizes are paint toe nails, read with mommy, play a game together, watch the kids ride their bikes, stay up late and watch a movie, eat a cookie....your list can go on and on.

The chores are all on individual cards that get moved from a hook to an I Did It box. They have some pre-made cards as well as blank ones you can use to make your own. When I get it all set up and going I will post back with an update and let you all know how it is going!

Oh and the package says it is for ages 4-8 but I am using it with my 3 year old Maddie and I know some other people are using it with their older children just to get them in the habit of chores. I encourage you to check this out and let me know if you decide to climb on board!

Lainey Beautiful Lainey

2008-10-07T12:08:00.000-07:00

On Sunday our sweet little Lainey turned 1. The kids helped me bake a cake and decorate it. I had been inspired by my friend Kelly and decided to do one in the ONE shape. It was not perfect but it was still really cute.

Here is another shot of it...can you tell I am a little bit proud! I have decided to really cut down on the whole party aspect of birthdays for several reasons but I really want to make my kids a memorable cake every year. I know this goes against the flow...but hey so does most of the other things our family does!

She really liked her cake and repeatedly reached for more. She had a pretty nasty cold that day though so she only got a few small pieces. Normally I would give her her own piece and let her have at it.

Here is the sweet girl herself! She had on a really cute outfit but I took it off before the cake mess began!

Big brother Micah enjoying some cake!
The kids and I each prayed for Lainey and then said something that we really like about her.
I said that I love her happy personality and that she is a really easy going baby.
Micah likes that she takes naps so we can do school!
Maddie likes it when Lainey plays with her.

Homeschool Fun!

2008-09-26T13:19:00.000-07:00

I have finally returned to posting photos. I know it is long overdue and many have asked so here you go! Michael gave me another short tutorial (sweet man) and now I know how to post them once again. The first three pictures are of our trip yesterday to Sea World. They opened the park up to homeschoolers and for a really reasonable fee we were able to pet dolphins, see a Shamu show and many other fun educational things! The kids had such a good time. In the picture above they are sitting in front of the alligator exhibit.

Here they are making silly faces. Yes I know Lainey has grown so very much!!!!
This morning we went to the Texas Living History Day at the local university. This was a wonderful educational experience and the kids got to see camels, tepees, lots of instruments, hear some good old fashoned Texas music, see a chuck wagon, and much much more.
In keeping with this homeschooling theme we began participating in a homeschool co-op this week as well. Micah and Maddie are taking several classes including a Lit. class, drawing class, and movements class. My part of the co-op is to volunteer in the nursery. I have really enjoyed getting to know other homeschool moms and visiting with them!
Hope you enjoyed the pictures.

It's a......

2008-08-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Boy!
Yes we went for our ultrasound yesterday and saw a wonderful, healthy baby boy. Everyone was so excited. I am terrible at looking at the ultrasound and trying to guess gender so when the technician said there was "too much" stuff down there to be a girl I took her word for it! We are 20 weeks now so halfway there. Thanks for sharing this exciting moment with us.

Why I LOVE...

2008-08-28T11:58:00.001-07:00

Homeschooling! Yesterday after the kids and I finished our learning time I realized how very thankful I was for what they had learned. I also realized that if my 5yo. Micah (yep he is 5 as of Aug. 23rd!) had been in regular school he would not have been with us to learn and he certainly would not have received this sort of instruction in school.

We are doing Sonlight again this year and starting on the Kindergarten curriculum. We have been reading the book Hero Tales and talking about Martin Luther and William Tyndale. I have been able to talk to my children about how we can not do enough good things to get us into heaven and how we can not buy our way in either. I have also seen the look of anguish on their faces when we talk about how Tyndale was burned at the stake because he translated the Bible into English even though it was illegal at the time. Also the great thing about all this is that I am learning right along with them. I already knew most of the stuff about Martin Luther but I really have learned a lot about Tyndale. Of course that is just the tip of the iceberg as far as what we are learning. Hopefully I will be able to share more as we go along!

And for your enjoyment here are a few Maddie quotes.
-Mommy Micah is antagonizing me! (where did she hear that you ask? daddy explained it to her the other day and she even used it in the right context!)
-While Michael was outside painting something Maddie wanted to help and after she was told no said "but daddy, God said you have to let me!"
Yes this is how Michael and I amuse ourselves sometimes in the evening, seeing who can one up the other with funny kid stories!

P.S. -Tune in soon because tomorrow we should find out the gender of this precious new baby!

Long Overdue and a Recipe!

2008-08-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

As usual I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted! Life seems to get the best of me and honestly I so enjoy reading other peoples blogs that I forget about my own. I got some really cute pictures of little Miss. Lainey the other day so perhaps Michael can help me post them soon!

Here is a recipe that our family really enjoys. It is a hit with the adults and kids. I love it because with food prices going up it is a wonderful way to use a more inexpensive cut of meat!

Annie Weber Chicken

9 chicken thighs bone in skin on
1 cup orange juice
1/4 cup soy sauce (I use Braggs Liquid Amino's)
1/4 cup brown sugar or honey
a few dashes of cayenne pepper depending how spicy you like it

Place the chicken in a 9x13 pan and broil in the oven till it's browned on top. While broiling the chicken mix the orange juice, brown sugar, soy sauce, and cayenne pepper together. When chicken is finished broiling pour mixture over it and place back in the oven. Bake at 350* for one hour. Serve over rice and make sure you spoon some of the juice over it.

I have doubled this recipe with no problems and have even substituted lime juice when I did not have orange juice.

Overheard

2008-07-23T12:53:00.000-07:00

The other day while playing domino's with the kids Micah jumps up and says "Wait, pause the game I have to go potty!" (I think he has been playing too many video games at other peoples houses!

That same week on our way to Queen Bees Tea Room for a special girly lunch Maddie yells "My God my God why have you forsaken me?" This was out of the blue mind you. Then she said "Mommy what does that mean?" So we talked about it and how Jesus died on the cross and why he said it. Then as we are driving I am racking my brains trying to figure out where she got that from....finally it dawns on me....the kids had been requesting the same Easter story book over and over and that quote was in the book.

What have your kids said lately? Don't they bring such joy!

Entertainment

2008-07-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

First of all I want to say thank you so much for all the sweet comments you all left on my last post about Charlsie Grace. They were incredibly special to me and I appreciate knowing you care! I am thankful that her life has touched many even though few "knew" her.

Now onto less emotional things!!! The kids and I have really been enjoying using YouTube as an educational tool. It started with Micah wanting to see how cereal is made and so we discovered that if you type in How It's Made to the search engine you come up with a bunch of neat Discover Channel shows about how things are made. One that I encourage you to watch is hot dogs....I have always felt that these nasty little pieces of "meat", if we can even call it that, were not fit for human consumption but now I am even more convinced!

Now that I think about it perhaps the kids and I are the ones that are in the dark ages and all of you already know about the above mentioned Discovery Channel show since we don't have any TV channels. If that's the case I apologize but if not then by all means enjoy some quality learning time with your kids!!!!

Another Year Has Passed

2008-06-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

Last Monday the 16th we remembered once again the life and death of our sweet Charlsie Grace. I had planned on posting about it that very day but since we went to her grave so late it did not work out. Then I got so busy this week that it got pushed aside. For now I will share with you how we remembered her and what we did to celebrate her life.

Since I had told the kids we were going to make cupcakes for Baby Charlsie they were eagerly anticipating the day. They kept talking about it and planing it excitedly.

My original plan had been to eat a quick breakfast, make the cupcakes, and then head out to the grave while it was still cool. Well good thing I have learned some flexibility because we did not actually end up heading out till much later. The kids helped me make the cupcakes, we decided on German Chocolate so that Charlsie Grace could see daddy's favorite cake! We let them cool and got ready for nap. Right before nap time we all talked about missing Baby Charlsie and quite a few tears were shed!

Around 4 or 5 we headed out to our HEB to buy balloons and special flowers. Maddie picked a balloon that said Happy Birthday and Micah picked one that said We Miss You. Very appropriate choices I thought!!! The kids and Michael then helped me pick out some sweet pink flowers for her.

At her grave we wrote special messages on the balloons and then released them, I would have preferred more of a ceremony with them but the kids just haphazardly let them go. As Michael said, "Lets not make this a somber occasion" and you know what we didn't, sure there were some tears but there were lots of smiles and giggles too. Next we ate our cupcakes and put one on Baby Charlsie's grave. We each "talked" to our sweet girl which was an incredibly special time to hear what everyone has been thinking and feeling. We said our goodbyes and headed down the hill to share some birthday cupcakes with our family. Then as a special treat we ate out as a family.

It has been so incredible for me to see how my children handle this situation and the emotions that have surfaced this year. There is much more sorrow and more of an understanding of what is going on, this is especially true for Micah. I look forward to many more years of helping our children know and understand their little sister, Baby Charlsie. As for me I just wish I could hold my sweet little two year old girl and see what she looks like. Perhaps God will grant a glimpse of this before heaven.....
I will try to post pictures of our time soon!

Mommy Brain and a Surprise!

2008-06-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

Recently we went to a church meeting with some friends, they had invited us to check out their church and since they had night service we decided to go. The pastor walked up to us and asked our names and as I was shaking his hand I said "Hi my name is Michael..., oh whoops no it's not he's Michael and I'm Charlsie" I was so incredibly embarrassed!!! Now though I know that I had good reason for that mommy brain slip up.

Yes we had a Mother's Day surprise....we are expecting another little blessing. I am about 9weeks along and due in mid Jan. We are all very excited and while everyone in the family is hoping for a boy, I really don't care either way. We are planing on going with another homebirth and I am so incredibly excited about it.

I was recently very struck by this quote and thought I would share it with you!

The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in our culture we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture. ~ Doug Phillips

These are a few of my favorite things....

2008-04-17T18:21:00.000-07:00

Since moving to Texas I have finally been able to take advantage of some of the deals I had previously only been able to read about. Many of these deals are found on several of my favorite blogs. I thought I would share them with you and hope that you enjoy them as much as I do! With the cost of living going up I have found them to be very helpful with saving money for my family. I still have a lot to learn and if you all have any great ways you save money please share!!!

Okay Biblicalwomanhood and Moneysavingmom are two of my favorite blogs and they both happen to be written by the same woman. Crystal is a wealth of information and an amazing Godly woman. Her Moneysavingm0m blog has helped me save so much money through CVS. I highly encourage you to head over there and check it out!

Another way we have found to save money is to use the Red Box they are little "red boxes" that you can rent movies from, in our area they are by the McDonald's or the Walmart. We make their low $1 price even better by using this site to find codes to make the movies free!

These are just a few ways I have found to save money. I am constantly on the lookout for new ways to save money and am always eager to learn more. Let me know if any of these ideas worked for you and if you have any to share!!!

Classic Maddie

2008-04-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

Yes my daughter has done it again, she has given me something funny to post about!

Yesterday I took the kids to the library pre-school hour here in our town. I was really excited and I think they were too. They did not have anything like this in Mexico so I was really looking forward to the experience. It started out with a little song and then moved onto talking about spring and how little kittens are born, bunnies are born, and baby deer are born. Well Little Miss Maddie pipes in and says "My daddy shooted some deer and killed them." Yes thank you dear daughter for sharing that with EVERYONE! I got a little red in the face and one of the other moms who clearly understood looked over at me laughing, but in a nice way.
What have your kids said or done recently to embarrass you?

So What Are Our Options?

2008-03-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

On of my blog readers, ha that sounds good doesn't it (smile) I think there might be 3 of you out there and 2 are my relatives!, whoops got off track there. Ok well one of my readers asked me the other day about some alternatives for the Nalgene delema! It seems that I did not give you all an alternative to the BPA leeching Nalgenes.
I guess one of the reasons is that I have been a little disappointed with the prices of the alternates I have found. I recently stumbled on one though that is a little better priced it is made by Camelback and can be found here. There are also the Sigg bottles, they have really cute kids designs as well as the Klean Kanteen bottles. If you purchase any of these let me know what you think!

Just Plain Sad

2008-03-26T19:26:00.000-07:00

While wondering tonight if I should write this blog or not I started thinking about this question...How personal is too personal on a blog? I imagine this varies from person to person so I guess then I have to ask myself, how personal is too personal for me? With that in mind I almost decided not to post this but ya'll have walked with me through so many other things, why not this!

Today while working out(yep trying to lose those last few baby pounds!) in the gym I was watching the news on TV, let me tell you it was horrific! First it talked about a woman who held an infant under scalding water and killed him, next came a man who put a baby in a microwave, and last a couple who tossed their sweet baby out of their moving car and killed her. I was so horrified by all of this! I imagine that my face must have been very contorted with the awfulness of it all. Then tonight while contemplating all of these tragedies I began to think of our sweet baby, the one I carried inside me for almost 8 months, the one I loved and desperately wanted. The little human that would have been born into a family that would love her and never even imagine doing any of the horrific things I heard about today. And it makes me wonder why, why did it have to happen. You would think that after all this time, almost 2 years, the question would be settled, but you know what, I don't think it ever will.

So as you read this remember to snuggle close to your little ones, hug them tight, and make sure they know just how much you love them!

Skin Deep

2008-03-07T18:00:00.000-08:00

I recently read about this site and have found it really useful. I love how you can search to find the products you use and see just how "bad" or "good" they are for your body. The other feature I love is at the top where you can click on different tabs and then learn about products that have less of a hazard on your body. I have considered myself to be pretty healthy but this site showed me that some of those supposedly healthy products I have used on myself and the kids are really not that great! I even purchased most of them at the health food store, it just goes to show that even in health food stores you have to read labels and realize that not everything there is really healthy!
I hope ya'll find it helpful!

No no nalgene!

2008-03-04T11:13:00.000-08:00

As some of you know we used to be die hard Nalgene bottle fans! Well with all the recent news about plastics leaching BPA, which is a chemical that mimics our natural hormones and wreaks havoc with our bodies, I have been searching for an alternative so that we as a family can take water with us while we are out.
I found this website and love how they give reviews, it is through them that I decided to purchase some Funtainers for my kids. They have lots of designs to choose from, we ended up going to Target for ours and both kids got Spiderman cups because that was all they had. Micah and Maddie were thrilled with their cups and they love taking them with us when we are out and about! They come with an extra straw and sippy spout which I really appreciate.
Now I need to find a replacement for Michael and me! I don't think he would greatly appreciate walking around with a Funtainer!
Oh and on the same note when we are at home the kids either use their Funtainers or our regular glasses, I just don't like them using plastic because of this BPA stuff.
I really encourage you to check it out and judge for yourself if you feel it is safe for your family or not!

How does our homeschool go....

2008-03-03T12:59:00.000-08:00

I had wanted to post some pictures and blog about them but since Michael is gone and I am a bit technologically challenged at times I thought I would share what we do for homeschool.

We are currently using Sonlight, I love that this is a Christ focused curriculum and that it is literature based. I love to read and really want to instill that in our children. We are using Core B. We have used this two years in a row because I did not feel we were ready to move onto another Core. I am excited though because this fall we will move onto Core C. If you are even just thinking about homeschooling I would encourage you to go check Sonlight out!

In addition to Sonlight we are using RightStart Mathematics. This program is not the conventional math program but it set really well with Michael and I, he is a math major and was pretty impressed by this math curriculum.

I had decided to take some advice from another blog I read and do a hymn a month with the kids. I found a wonderful book "Then Sings My Soul", I like it because it includes the hymn words as well as the story behind the hymn. Right now we are working on "Be Though My Vision". I love the words and beautiful melodies of old hymns!

At the beginning of our home education time we focus on our memory verse for the week, sing our hymn of the month, sing some other fun songs, and pray.
Do you do a school time during your day? Share what you do and we can learn from one another!

Book Review!

2008-01-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

I recently bought this book because many of the blogs I frequent have been talking about it for months. Let me tell you it deserves all of the rave reviews that it is receiving. I greatly enjoyed this book because it gives practical advice on how to be a better mother and wife as well as letting you know that the struggles you face are struggles that many women deal with. I highly recommend this book and encourage you to purchase it. I have to admit that while I am an avid reader this book took me a bit longer than normal to get through, the reason being that it was so full of deep truths that I could not just zip through the chapters, I had to read a chapter at a time or even just a few pages at a time and then go back and mull it over. I have lent my copy out but when I get it back I will be rereading it, yep it's that good. If you do purchase it please share your thoughts, I would love to hear what other women have to say about this excellent book!

Baby Lainey

2008-01-18T18:50:00.001-08:00

Several of you have expressed interest in seeing the new addition to our family....here ya go! I know it has been almost three and a half months and I am just getting them up, sorry about that. These are pictures of her when she was just born and then just a few days after that. I have to say that she is the most wonderful baby! I am so incredibly blessed. She never got her days and nights mixed up, a phenomenon that occurred with both Micah and Maddie. She rarely cries, we are really in tune with one another, and she has a wonderfully big grin! Can you tell she has stolen my heart. I attribute my great love for her to two things, first she filled my arms after a great loss, second I am more relaxed and experienced as a mother, I feel that I instinctively know when she wants to sleep, eat, and play. Recently someone asked me if going from 2-3 children was tough. My answer to them might surprise you.....I felt that going from 1-2 children was much more challenging! Little Lainey really fits in with us so well and hardly threw us off balance at all. Her big brother and sister adore her and are wonderful with her. I can count on them to entertain her when she is a little fussy or if I just need to quickly get something done.

Without further ado here is Miss. Lainey Allegra

A question

2008-01-08T18:54:00.000-08:00

Do babies drool so much because they have no teeth? Lainey has been drooling a lot recently and I have wondered if it was her toothless state that caused it. Do our teeth help keep our drool in?What do ya'll think?

Dirty H2O

2008-01-08T10:15:00.000-08:00

I thought that I might provide ya'll with some amusement at my expense. While I am enjoying my new life up here in Texas there are certain things that are hard to get used to. I'll tell you about one now and hopefully as they come up and as I remember I will post about some other ones.

When we first got up here it was hard for me to remember that the tap water was not dirty. I have now more or less gotten used to it, but today after being here for over 5 months I caught myself thinking...Oh no don't touch that food, you have tap water on your hands, and you will contaminate it and no one will be able to eat it! Yes go ahead and laugh at me, it's ok.

Cold weather

2008-01-05T18:13:00.000-08:00

Recently, while at my cousins house, the kids were watching cartoons. When the commercials would come on it was all about cold weather, snow, and how to put on all the appropriate cold weather clothing. I found this really amusing because while we can occasionally have a cold day down here in South Texas we really never require all of that snow gear. For example, today my kids could have worn shorts and a t-shirt in the afternoon. I know that for many of you those commercials are appropriate but not so much for us!
What's the weather like up in your neck of the woods?

Where oh Where...

2008-01-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

So I am sure that all of you have been wondering where in the world I have been. I took quite the bloggy break! But here I am and ready it get back into the swing of things!!!
To start it off let me tell you a little story about Maddie. This happened this morning and as it was happening I was thinking, Wow I have to blog about this!
So the two older kids and I were in the bathroom cleaning. I was at the sink and Micah was cleaning the counter. I look over and Maddie was not helping, she was spreading something all over her lips and upon closer inspection I saw that it was all natural hemorrhoid balm. Yep my daughter was slathering tushie paste all over her lips. When I told her what it was for she quickly tried to wipe it off....to her credit I will say that it looked like a chapstick container.
We are finally getting our house in order. Now the chaos is contained in my bedroom, hopefully I will be able to tackle that within the next week!

Getting Bigger, no not the kids, ME

2007-09-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

Recently Micah came up to me laughing and said....Mom you are getting really hard to hug, your belly keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Needless to say both kids are really excited about the new baby that is coming. I wonder what their reaction will be when they see that all she does is eat, sleep, and poop! Oh and for some reason Maddie seems really excited about changing diapers...we will have to see how that one goes, maybe I will post some pictures for your viewing enjoyment!!!
The whole nesting instinct has hit me hard core so our house has been staying unusually clean and I have a huge urge to organize everything! I am feeling great, which is a huge blessing, I don't think I have ever felt soooo good so close to the due date. I can't wait to share pictures with you all when baby Lainey makes her appearance.

Once again it's been awhile

2007-09-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

It's funny, I actually think about blogging quite often, but getting the actual words on our blog is quite another matter.... Since I am sure all of you (if anyone is still checking) are quite tired of the previous post I will update you on our family!

We had a super busy summer, we hosted several teams and did a variety of ministry related activities in the villages we work in. Here is my favorite kid quote from Micah this summer...Michael decided to take Micah out for a couple of nights to a village with a team we were hosting, on the way out Micah looks at me and says,"Mommy, I'm going to tell the people about Jesus" Talk about a tear jerker!

We are now in Texas and awaiting the arrival of the newest Swadley. My kids are enjoying living in my grandparents cabin and all the fun and adventure that brings. They also like all the English being spoken! Micah said he "loved" his Bible class because so many kids spoke English, and the other day when we were driving through McDonalds he asked," Why are the people speaking English" So I told him that in the US the drive through people speak English. Oh and here is another one...In Mexico you can't flush toilet paper down the toilet so when Micah saw me flushing paper he got on me, but now when he flushes he enjoys telling Michael or me "We are in the US, you can flush paper down the toilet here"

The baby and I are doing really well. The Dr. is keeping a close eye on us and so far everything looks wonderfully. We could have a new baby within the next 4-5 weeks! We are all very excited about this new little one. Maddie though keeps informing us that she is still the baby, so I am trying to work with that!
I will try to update again soon!

Measuring Time After Grief

2007-06-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the day our little girl was still born. Of course the whole nightmare began weeks before but this is the day I will remember her on. When thinking back it is hard to believe that it has been a year. First we counted the time in hours, then days.....weeks.....months.....and now years. To be completly honest sometimes it seems like the tragedy never happened, other times it seems more real than I can believe.

The flowers above are the arraingement we had made for Baby Charlsie, my sweet brother picked them up and will take them to her grave tomorrow. As my husband says ,"You know these are for you and not for her." Yes I know it but I need to remember her somehow and plan to do it every year for as long as I can. I wanted something sweet and feminine, something baby like and fresh. I think that this bouquet fits the bill.

Honestly I don't want this post to be all sad. So much good has come from her death. Our marriage was greatly strengthened by her passing. I know that tragedy sometimes drives couples apart but this last year has been the best of our whole marriage, all six years. Our family is closer, we realize what it is to lose a child and I think that makes us cherish our living children even more. It also made us realize that we are not entitled to anything. Only by Gods grace do we live, breath, have healthy children....etc......I'm not going to lie, there have been some very sad days around here, sometimes my emotions do not shape up the way I want them to, sometimes I don't understand why I feel the way I feel, then I am reminded that grief is a strange thing and you really can not predict where it will take you. I am so thankful that we have God during this time, I have thought for a long time that I do not know how people make it with out Him! He has been our strenghth, comfort, and rock! We chose the middle name Grace for baby Charlsie because it was His grace that got us through, and that continues to be the case even to this day!

Because of all this we are so thankful for the new little one growing inside me! We feel so blessed that God would choose to give us another child. Our whole family is more excited that you would believe about this baby. I almost feel like it is a first pregnancy because of the expectancy and joy I feel. I would really like to skip the next few weeks and go to the birth so I can hold this little person and love this baby like I did not get to last time.

I thank all of you so much who have been a support this last year, your love, encouragement, and listening ears have kept us going and gotten us through some tough times!

"I Don't Really Want to Keep Her Anymore"

2007-06-12T18:14:00.000-07:00

Today Micah came in the kitchen where I was working and he was pretty upset. Apparently Maddie had broken one of his toy bullets and he was not happy about it. Casually and not too loudly he said-I don't really want to keep her anymore!" I figured out he was talking about his sister and told him that really wasn't an option.

Then I told Michael what had happened so he talked to Micah and asked him if he just wanted to give her away, Micah did not seem to opposed to this idea!

I think this all came from the fact that in the past we have talked about getting rid of our dog. She got into everything and caused lots of trouble, now we really love her and she has redeemed her self and turned into a wonderful dog. I guess Micah thought that if we could get rid of Jed, the dog, then why not Maddie.

Here are some pictures for your enjoyment, what a difference a haircut makes! Micah has gone from looking like a little boy to looking like a big boy! The third picture is of the kids helping sort out little stones for part of our well digging project, I love it when we can all get involved in ministry!

Tiny Fingers, Tiny Toes

2007-06-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

As the first anniversary of our stillbirth approaches I thought I would post a poem that a sweet friend of ours wrote. She lost her hubby a year before we lost baby Charlsie so she was really able to understand what we were going through. She printed out the poem, touched it up to look like a scrap booking page and put it on a wooden frame. I love the poem and love having a tangible reminder of our baby. I will post more on this as the time draws near but just wanted to share this poem with you all!

Tiny fingers, tiny toes. What they would have been -God only knows.

What were you to become? Who were you to be? What if it had been up to me?

Would you be a great missionary? Would you be a teacher of Gods Word?
"I'm so proud of you!" From me you would have heard.

If only I could hold you a while. Gaze upon you and see your smile.
To dream of the day that you would have bounced on my knee.
That is what I need.

Your mark was left here without even a word.
Yet, you have touched me very deeply and changed my world.

You will touch lives of all those around us. Because I am strong and
in the Lord find my solace. People will know that the Lord has upheld us.

I will always dream and wonder what was to be. What were you to become?
Who were you to be? What if it had been up to me?

BUT- God's plan is greater still. Souls will be saved because of my strong will.

AND- If I listen closely above the din of my cry, I hear the Lord say,
"Be still and know that I am God."

I share this to open a window up into our lives. Sometimes being honest is very difficult but also very necessary. I also share it because it greatly ministered to me and I hope that if you have shared a loss it will minister to you too!

It's A Miracle

2007-05-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

Recently, while Michael was away, the kids and I watched the new Charlotte's Web movie. We all really enjoyed it and I mentioned to Micah that I had read the book when I was younger. This really interested him so even though I thought it might be a bit early for him to read chapter books with me I called a friend and she gave us a copy of the book.

I was really proud of Micah because several times a day for a couple weeks he would ask to read a chapter or two. He had lots of great questions and we had such a good time reading together.

In the book there are several words that Micah did not know the meaning of, he would ask me and I would give him the best meaning I could come up with. About a week after we finished reading the book I realized that perhaps I should have looked up the words in the dictionary....

Micah came in the house and said, "Mom, mom, it's a miracle Jed pooped in the yard and it's made a big mess!"
The next time, about a day later, he came in saying, "Mom, it's a miracle, Maddie pulled down her pants and peed in the yard!"
We have since learned that these things do not constitute miracles. He had several other instances of atributing a miracle to something that really wasn't. He hasn't called anything a miracle in awhile now so I guess he figured it out. I at least have learned that I really need to look meanings up in a dictionary!

Here's a Good One

2007-05-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ok well you know you are pregnant(feel free to put any excuse here that works for you) when the phone is ringing and you are searching franticly all over the house for it.....only to find that it is in your back pocket, where you put it, so that you could find it easily! Pretty sad huh? I am sure there will be more funny tails to tell as this pregnancy takes over my brain more and more.

Snuggly Maddie

2007-05-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

This last week Maddie was not feeling too well. She had a low grade fever and little white spots in her mouth. Now don't get me wrong I do not like my kids to be sick but....when Maddie doesn't feel well she is unusually snuggly and cuddly. This is not normal behavior for her, she will snuggle pretty well with daddy but not much else. So I took this time to cuddle with her in bed, give her special attention, and enjoy the cuddles! She is now back to herself and active as ever!

On another note I have been rereading a book called Different Children, Different Needs.
I have really enjoyed figuring out our kids personalities and how they mesh with our personalties. This book is a tremendous help because it explains how different children need different parenting techniques according to their personalities. I think you would be greatly blessed by reading this book, just like we were. Also this book is not a one time read, you can go over it many times gleaning new information for how to help your family blend together in the way God intended them to!

You know your in Mexico when... (Part 2)

2007-04-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

I had to add to what Charlsie started,

You show up at least 30 min. late and you are the first one there.

You have to go to three different stores to get tortillas, bread, and milk.

You can buy a phone card, antenna for your TV, and floor mats for your car all at an intersection, while your windshield is getting washed... whether you like it or not.

Some of the best places to eat don't open till 8PM.

You can travel within 2 hours distance for about 20 pesos or $2.

You are never really in a hurry.

and my favorite

When relationships are more important than your schedule

Please feel free to add to this.

You Know You Live in Mexico.....

2007-04-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

When your daughter holds up a My Little Pony and says "Donkey"

When you carry toilet paper in your purse because the bathrooms don't normally have it.

That's all I could come up with right now but I'm sure there will be more to come!

I know I KNOW....It's about time

2007-04-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

As my cousin pointed out to me the other day, "It really is about time you updated your blog."
I have also been told by several other family members to update so I am finally taking their advice. I have come to realize that I will never be one of "those bloggers" you know the ones who update their blog every day, sometimes even more! Yes I love the feedback I get from the blog but just don't seem to have enough to say to update tooooo often.

I'll catch you up on our family. I am feeling much better and am 13weeks pregnant. The nausea is gone but I am still pretty fatigued. The belly is growing and I have been in maternity clothes for some time now. We checked in on the little person, via ultrasound, and everything looks good. We are thankful for that and are praying and believing for a wonderful healthy pregnancy and birth.

Michael has finally been able to get some rest after our 3 back to back teams. They were such a blessing as they treated peoples eyes, dug wells, and worked on teeth. He is busy scheduling teams for the summer and fall.

Micah and Maddie continue to take swim classes, Micah is swimming from point A to point B and really is a fish. Maddie's favorite thing is jumping into the water. She has no fear which of course can be good and bad. Micah is asking lots of questions now and some of them amaze me! Maddie just likes to talk and will do so really loudly. It is nice being able to communicate though!!!!

I suppose that is it for now. I will try to get some pictures up soon.

When Mommy is Busy....

2007-02-13T17:08:00.000-08:00

Today while I was busy making lunch in the kitchen I heard the kids laughing. They sounded a little too happy so I went to investigate. To my surprise they had gotten a hold of some gatoraid, the orange kind, and were busy pouring it into the washer. I guess they were hoping to make a mega batch of this drink! I sternly told them not to do that again and turned on the washer to rinse out the evidence. I did some laundry after that and thankfully there are no orange stains on the clothes :)

Oh and wouldn't you find it a bit disconcerting if your daughter, sweet as can be, came up to you and said, "I'm gonna shoot you mommy!" Yes that is what I thought, but let me explain. Her brother, Micah, is very much into guns right now so it's only natural that since she does everything else he does that she should enjoy guns too. I have to say though, it is one thing for my little boy to be into guns but quite another for my little girl. Oh well it makes all of us laugh!

Sweet Little Girl

2007-02-12T12:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we celebrated Maddies birthday. She turned 2. We had a day full of good food, a cute heart cake, and lots of fun presents! I really enjoy the children at this age because their appreciation of parties and such is so cute and genuine!
Happy Birthday Maddie we love you.

Guess What.....

2007-02-09T19:05:00.000-08:00

Yes that's right, Michael and I and the children and thrilled to announce that we are pregnant!!! We are really excited about the prospect of more children.
Our due date is mid October. It has been neat seeing God answer our prayers. Every night since the end of Nov. we have been asking God for babies. God has answered our prayer and I just love that my kids get to see this!
I should let you all know that I was hoping for a clever way of announcing this but this is the best I could come up with!
Oh I also wanted to say thanks to all of you who were with us through our loss , now you can follow us through the wonderful months ahead!
One wonderful thing God did for me in particular was answer another prayer I had. I asked God to somehow show me if I was pregnant or not. This was before I could take the pregnancy test to find out...can you tell I was anxious to know! So that night I had a dream, and I never have dreams, in it I took a pregnancy test very early, too early for most tests to work. It showed a positive! I was so thankful that God revealed that to me! He really is so good.

Organizing

2007-02-05T19:43:00.000-08:00

Since we have been back I have been cleaning my home like a mad woman. First I purged I went through toys, clothes, and anything else I could think of and got rid of what we do not need. This was a wonderful opportunity to talk to the kids about sharing and giving. We discussed the fact that some kids don't have any toys and we have lots so we should share with them. By the end of our purging Micah was willingly thinking up toys to give away!

Next I am going through every room of our house and organizing them. I have finished with the master bedroom and just have the other rooms to do. It is a monumental task but I know it will be worth it when our house runs like clock work(well I can dream can't I)

I have found that if you put items in a container they look neat and are easier to store. We went to the Container Store before we came back down and I have really enjoyed using the boxes we bought there. I only wish the Container Store was here too so I could pick up some more!!!!!

Any of your great organizing tips would be much appreciated, oh and I found this blog
by accident actually but she has some great ideas!

Is Anyone Still Here?????

2007-02-03T12:59:00.000-08:00

Well if anyone is still reading this blog....wow you must be a good friend because I have been horrible at keeping it up.

We have been back in Oaxaca for 2 weeks now and are truly loving it. It is such a relief to get home and settled in.

As soon as we arrived we went out to Tlaxiaco for a conference on Community Development. Michael was able to learn a lot of things that will help him in the villages we work in. I on the other hand enjoyed visiting with my friends out there. One highlight of the conference was learning how to make a garden that uses minimal amounts of water. Oaxaca has a dry season so this is a very helpful method. We have put a garden like this in our yard and are excited about growing veggies!

Now that we are home again I am unpacking, organizing, and getting rid of lots of stuff. The house is a bit chaotic right now but I know that in the end it will be wonderful to have an organized home!

I will be sharing more about our lives in the next couple of days!

Heading Home This Week

2007-01-08T07:32:00.000-08:00

Well we are heading home this week and can't wait! We will start posting again once we settle in. I'm we have broken those unwritten laws of Blogging etiquette by not posting enough. The life of a missionary includes a lot of travel and therefore a lot of change. We love to see our friends and family but we will also be glad to see our home.
One thing our kids get to enjoy are baths. We don't have to worry about them drinking the water! Although I did bust Maddie drinking out of a bird bath... can we say Yuck!! Well we will be recounting all the funny stories that we have been able to store up.
Oaxaca here we come.
-Mike

TX to OR

2006-11-24T21:49:00.000-08:00

Michael here:
Well it's been a while since we posted and thought i would update y'all on our goings about. Especially since there are more people than just my mom that actually read our blog. Right now I'm writing this from Portland, OR. We are staying with some great friends, Leo & Amy see http://amyandleo.blogspot.com/. I have to admit that I was pretty wore out spiritually speaking. I felt like Elijah after he saw God do some amazing stuff and then got bummed out in the desert and started whining. But our good Dad knew how much i needed this and therefore we are here. I can feel my tank filling up being around Leo, Bryan and Jason . What a blessing it is to have such great friends. We had a great meal and talked. To find so many quality people in one place is amazing. To know people that would give you the shirt off of their back is a blessing. Even more so you just yearn to be able to give back to someone like that. Have you ever felt that way? You have a great friend that has blessed you so much but you feel like you can't do anything for them? You just wish you could sincerely open up your heart and say look it's for real, i am not just trying to flatter you i really mean it. There are those people out there that you can tell are faking it. I'm sure that if have been one of them at times.
Anyhow we plan to stay here for a couple of weeks and then return for the holidays to TX. I miss Oaxaca already and i can see how much of my heart is there with the people.
We will keep you up to date as much as possible.
Blessings,
Michael

Good-bye for a little while

2006-11-05T06:11:00.000-08:00

Well with all that is happening in Oaxaca we have decided to leave for a little while. We have good friends that will be enjoying our house while we are gone. We were going to go to the USA for Christmas anyway so since things just seem to continue to get worse and worse here and we can't go out to the villages we are going to leave early. Also I will not be posting for a few days, sorry about that.
We are very sad to leave our house but know it is for the best. Please continue to pray with us for Oaxaca and that a solution will come quickly. We truly love Oaxaca, and it is our home.....we hope to be back soon.

Oaxaca Update

2006-11-02T11:39:00.000-08:00

I suppose that I have put off blogging about the situation in Oaxaca first of all because I thought there would have been a resolution by now and wanted to post about that rather than all the gore, and second I guess I did not want to admit on here how hard this has been on me.

As many of you now know, since it has been on national news, Oaxaca continues to have major conflict. The Federal police are here now and are trying to take care of this situation but it is definitly not being resolved as quickly as I would like. To read more about it go here.
I feel that this writter, who lives in Oaxaca, has a good take on the happenings here.

We have been laying low, staying in our house, and trying to stay busy inspite of it all. I have to admit that for awhile there I thought I might lose it...it was very hard for me to stay in all the time. And having such major turmoil in Oaxaca, but not being able to see it has been driving me a bit crazy as well. It is a very surreal feeling because my neighborhood looks normal but many of the other parts of the city are a total mess. The destruction is very sad.

I guess that is enough for now, I feel like I coudl go on and on but I know with blogs it is best to keep them short and sweet!
The pictures below are just a taste of what you can find on the internet......Please keep praying for us!

TMI.......

2006-10-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

After reading Michael's post I feel the need to correct a few things..... We are not vegans.....We have decided to be mostly vegetarian. We will occasionally eat meat but not every day like we used to.
Now on to the liver cleanse. Since I contracted Hepatitis A and ICP during our last pregnancy I decided that a cleaning of my liver was a good idea. I found this method. We followed it and came up with results like this. (warning:not for the weak stomach) So the Epsom salt we had to drink was pretty awful but the grapefruit juice-olive oil mix was not as bad as I thought it would be. I was really pleased with the results, I expelled a bunch of little and not so little gallstones. I feel this will help my overall health and the health of our future babies.
As many of you know I am pretty into the natural method of doing things ie...herbs, home births, natural remedies and all that fun stuff. So I will probably post more of this stuff in the future, hope you enjoy it!

Oh I had to add that I am amazed at what a comic my hubby is. His posts crack me up as I'm sure they do you to!!! Way to go hunny!

Drink What!!!

2006-10-26T16:08:00.000-07:00

Michael here:

Had to write about our latest venture in the name of "health"
My wife is wonderful and we are always making improvements in our eating habits. She is the one with all the self-control and discipline. When she decides to do something she does it. I on the other hand am more of a... how can I say it impulsive (that's the nicest word i could come up with). I have great ideas and convince myself that this time is different and that i will really follow through. My wife on the other hand takes a while to decide and then it is like no stopping her. We have currently undertaken the venture of becoming Vegans. It has not been as hard as I thought it would be, because there are some great alternatives out there and I don't miss it. Well until I get a craving for tacos.

Side note here: Tacos in Mexico are nothing like in the states, you have not had a good taco until you have been to a stand on the side of the road that has hours from 8:30pm - 4:00am. they are the best!

The vegan thing is also kind of hard when someone cooks bacon... I mean how can you pass up bacon? I heard somewhere that Seventh Day Adventist live on average 7 years longer because of their diets. They don't eat pork. I told my step-dad this one time and he said "I'll gladly give up 7 years of my life for pork". Don't know if I agree with him but bacon sure is good.

OK about our latest venture. Charlsie has wanted to do a liver cleanse because of the HEP A she contracted a while ago. Just to make sure the liver is running perfectly for the next pregnancy. So thanks to the internet (everything you find on the internet is true, right?) she found a site that gave a liver cleanse that was all natural, although as i am sitting here with my stomach rumbling and due to the fact that i have been to the restroom more times than I can count on my fingers in the last 12 hours, i must conclude that it doesn't feel natural. In short we drank 3 glasses for Epson Saltwater and a half a cup of olive oil after fasting most of the day. What was i thinking? I told Charlsie that this was probably just some made up thing so people could get a laugh.
But it turned out to be a success for Charlsie and that was all I could have hoped for.
I'll let Charlsie tell you the rest, gotta go to the restroom:)
-Michael

Fully Potty Trianed!!!!

2006-10-25T09:13:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been thinking about the fact that Micah is 3 and is still not night-time potty trained. I was not too worried about it since I have heard that boys are slower to do this than girls and that sometimes it can take awhile. But I really did not want it to take awhile. So when I discovered the other night that Micah had taken off his diaper to go poo poo in the toilet and was fast asleep with out one on I decided to experiment. I did not put another diaper on but waited till morning to see if my theory was correct, that he would "feel" no diaper and therefor not wee wee.

Ta da! He has been dry for 2 nights in a row. I told him awhile ago that if he went a night with out wee wee in his diaper that we would really celebrate, so the next morning he got 2 cookies for breakfast. This is not a normal thing for us so it was really special for him! I am just glad to have one out of diapers!

And Maddie is not far behind. She only wears diapers when she sleeps!
I have read quite a bit about infant potty training and this whole thing with Micah made me realize that we really do condition our children to make messes in their diapers, I think I will have to give serious consideration to infant potty training when God blesses us with another little one!

Laughter

2006-10-23T12:53:00.000-07:00

The laughter of children is one of the most beautiful sounds that exist.

Yesterday morning my children were happily playing together and their beautiful laughter was so joyous! I love hearing them laugh and when they are happy together it is a real bonus. Sure there are many other wonderful sounds but for me in that moment, laughter, was beautiful. And of course as I sat there listening to them laugh I knew I had to blog about that moment and share it with all of you. Hope you enjoyed it!

I'm Baaaaaack Again!

2006-10-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well as most of you know my sweet hubby let me get away to Oregon for 10 whole days while he took care of the kids. My time up there was so fun and refreshing! I am so gratefull to have such a wonderful husband. I don't think that just anyone would let their wives go away like that. Thanks BABE!

I was able to shop, eat great food, take a Thai cooking class, eat great food, see some wonderful friends (pictured above l-r Tanya, Amy, me, Christa, Vanessa), eat great food, buy some fun foods to bring back that we can't get in Oaxaca, oh and did I mention eat great food. Can ya tell that I like to eat!

I had such a good time and really feel renewed. I feel like I have more patience with my children, and more energy to give my family. I think I really needed this trip and it was a big blessing.
Oh and did ya'll enjoy Michaels post? I know I loved seeing that "mothering" is just as hard for him as it is for me! I had visions of him being "super dad" and putting me to shame, but I think we realize we are both very happy with the roles God gave us!!!!!

Motherhood: It's not for whimps!

2006-10-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

To all you ladies out there that are mommies full time, I salute you! I am in my 8^th day of Mr. Mom and well let’s say I would rather be digging ditches for 10 hours a day. I can hardly feed the kids and keep them entertained, LET ALONE clean the house! Laundry… that is for the day that the kids sleep in, not gonna happen. It kind of reminds me of when I was single and had 2 guy roommates, we used the smell test to see if we could wear it again. Needless to say I have employed this method as well as the if they don’t wear it they don’t dirty it method (i.e. they are pretty much naked all day).

I had this great idea that we would all try to sleep together one night in honor of Mommy’s absence(see picture below). Normally Maddie sleeps in her pack n’ play, and bedtime is at 7pm (which I might add is my most coveted hour of the day, second only to 1pm nap time) so I didn’t know how we were going to work it out since I go to bed at 10pm. But for some reason they were both still awake at 9:30pm when I was about to hit the hay, so I thought, this is my chance. I should have known. So at about 11:30 after repeated attempts to get them to settle down and GO TO SLEEP, I finally had to accept defeat and probably a “I told you so” from Charlsie when she gets backJ Maddie returned to her beloved Pack n’ Play and I went to sleep. On a side note, I graduated with a B.S. in math hence I look at things rather logically (except when I want to have a happy marriage, then I must succumb to my feelings). My point is this; the laws of logic lead me to deduce that if my children stay up 4 hours later then they will sleep in 4 hours later… FAT CHANCE! Like and alarm clock without a snooze button Maddie is up at, not 7:30am but a little earlier 7:15 am followed by Micah a little later. The only difference is that we are all cranky and get on each others nerves a lot quicker.

Anyhow, to all you mommies out there… well words can’t express how impressed I am at your ability to not only keep your kids from starving, but to take care of us husbands as well. To any of you Dads that may read this, you have to try the full-time mommy thing for a couple of days. It will humble you and make you appreciate your wife so much more!

Exciting Contest

2006-10-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

The Vision Forus is having really wonderful contest. They are offering two $700 prize packages. One is for guessing how many products are going to be in their new catolog and another is for people who link to the contest from their blog, like I am doing. To find out more go here....

We have purchased several things from this store including some great books and toys for the kids. They have quality products and you have the added knowledge that they love the Lord. So go take a guess and browse their website.

Where does the time go?

2006-09-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know what happens. I so enjoy looking at other peoples blogs but then I forget to update mine. Many people, well only my dad really, have said they are board of looking at my last blog so I decided it was time for an update. I have to admit that this blog thing is really stretching my computer skills. Yes that is embarrasing to admit, but it's true.

Update on the family....Micah and I just finished our 9th week of homeschooling. We really enjoy it and we keep it very low key. I am not a big advocate of early school but this particular system really works for us because it is mostly reading and we do that anyways.

Maddie and Micah have both been in swimming lessons. They are doing really well and having such a good time. I have to get in with Maddie but such is life. She is jumping in and holding her breath underwater, she is also well on her way to being potty trained. She initiated wanting to potty train herself and she is almost there.

Micheal has been busy working on a computer program that will really help out my moms Spanish, Christian library here.

I have been working on getting the house more organized, doing fun stuff with the kids, and losing weight. I still have 10-12 lb.'s of baby weight which I am dying to lose, so I am power walking with Emily and watching what I eat. I hope to have it off by Christmas when we go home to see family.

Below are some pictures we took yesterday. We needed a family picture for various reasons and so yesterday morning Michael informed me that we were going to do them before naptime. So I scurried around and got us presentable....hope you enjoy them.

Works for Me Wednesday

2006-09-13T05:20:00.000-07:00

Well I have finally decided to participate in the Works for Me Wednesday post hosted by Shannon over at Rocksinmydryer.typepad.com

I have wanted to do this for some time but due to the fact that I am a bit computer illiterate (see previous post) I am just now figuring it out!

Ok so here is what works for me.....Living in Mexico we do not have actual bathtubs in our home so we use plastic storage containers, they each get one I fill it with water and toys and away they go. One of their favorite bath time activities though is to "paint" the walls with shaving cream. Now when they take baths they are constantly asking to "pain". I use the super cheap cans of shaving cream from the grocery store. I actually import them because here where we live shaving cream is like $6 a can. I am even thinking of putting a can in their stockings since they enjoy it so much. Everyone else will think it is a strange gift but my kids will sure be excited! Well that's what works for me, go on over to Shannon's at rocksinmydryer.typepad.com and see what works for other people.

Computer Illiterate

2006-09-06T06:49:00.003-07:00

I have finally realized why I sometimes find it challenging to post on my blog. It is because I am semi computer illiterate. I see other peoples blogs and they do cute little links and banners and all sorts of other fun things. I on the other hand am doing good to post a simple picture, but even then I do not know how to upload them from the camera. I guess I am just way to dependent on my sweet hubby....but that said I really do need to learn how to do some of these things on my own. For one to make my blog cuter and for another to attract more visitors. I think it just takes a little time to learn and I need to be willing to take that time if in fact I really do want the above benefits. Any hints you seasoned bloggers can give would be great, plus maybe asking for advice will get you to come out of your shell and post...heehee.
I really enjoy the online community that blogging has created. It is interesting feeling so connected to complete strangers, know about their lives etc....but I really enjoy it and look forward to meeting more people.
Thanks for visiting my humble blog and I look forward to trying to spif it up!

Interesting Conversation

2006-09-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

The other night I had another interesting conversation with Micah my 3 year old. I was doing some laundry and the kids were playing outside.

Me: Micah why are you spitting?
Micah: Because I do.
Me: Ok, yes, but why are you spitting?
Micah: Because I have diarrhea.
Me: Ummmm right ok.

He did not have diarrhea but I suppose living in a third world country where diarrhea is often mentioned made it seem perfectly logical to him.....I guess.
It gave me a laugh if nothing else.

You Deserve an Update

2006-08-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

Not a whole lot has changed since I last blogged but here is an update. The teachers are still striking, and now many of the Oaxacan people are in on it as well. At night many people set up barricades at the end of their streets so that the plainclothes policemen can not get through. The policemen are the only ones with guns, because it is illegal for nationals to own one. So the policemen go out in the wee hours of the night and shoot their guns and try to intimidate and break up the protestors. There has been at least one person killed this way and several others injured. We do not have any of this on our street but about 5 streets over from us they have their barricade and burning tires.

For now we are laying low. We stay home a lot and when we do go out we are careful to avoid crowds and dangerous areas. We also do not go out at night or too early in the morning as these are the hours when things get rowdy.

In fact tomorrow, Tuesday, most of the businesses in Oaxaca are closing in order to raise the governments awareness of the situation. Because of this our marriage group wants to go have breakfast up in the mountains on their unexpected day off. We will see if we end up going or not...

We are praying that this situation resolves quickly and that peace returns to Oaxaca.

More Oaxaca News.....

2006-08-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

Oaxaca is getting a bit more scary....Yesterday Michael and I ventured out to take pictures and came up with these. The teachers that are striking got angry Monday when several plainclothes policemen tried to take back a television and radio station that the teachers had taken over. They began burning buses, blocking more roads, and making more threats. School was set to begin Monday but the teachers put a stop to that. Even the private Christian school here is postponing opening its doors for a week.
The top two pictures are not ones we took, they were sent to us by friends, but the others are ones we took ourselves.
Please pray for Oaxaca!!!!
I encourage you to Google Oaxaca and see what comes up so you can get a more complete story.

All of the unrest has made us a bit uneasy so Michael went to SAM's yesterday and stocked up on a bunch of groceries. We figure that if we do not end up needing them we can give them away as there are many people here who are being financially affected by this situation.

More Micah......

2006-08-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

Micah has recently said and done some silly things so I thought I would share.

Recently he came out of a guest room we have and I asked him what he had been doing. His reply was...Oh just checking my e-mail!

And just yesterday we were over at my mom's house eating lunch. My mom asked for a napkin so Michael passed her one via Micah saying,"Pass this to Mimi." Micah says ,"Yes Sir." and then proceeds to wipe his own mouth with it and then pass it along nonchalantly to his grandmother. We all died laughing and Mimi was a good sport!

I few pics. of the kids to lighten things up

2006-08-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

When you think it can't get any worse.....

2006-08-18T05:33:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our Bible study and our conversation turned to everything that was going on in Oaxaca. Michael and I always have lots of questions and our friends have either answers or theories.

Last night they said that today the striking teachers planned on shutting down all major businesses incuding banks, Sam's, grocery stores, and more. And they also said that if people go out they are threatining to remove them from their cars and burn their cars. I am really hopping this is not true because I really need to do some shopping because we are having Micah's birthday party Saturday and I still need some stuff!

I will let you all know what really happens.....

Pray for Oaxaca!

2006-08-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

Oaxaca, the city in Mexico that we live in, has not been very peaceful lately. It all started on May 22nd when the public school teachers decided to strike. Now the teachers here strike every year in order to get a pay raise, but it normally only lasts a couple of weeks and they get what they want. But this year it has been almost 3 months. At times it has even been violent.

Now we have not directly experienced any of this violence, just heard about it. One thing that happened was the riot police came and tried to kick the teachers out of the town square. They had helicopters, tear gas, and guns. Three of the teachers were killed in this attack but they still came out on top. So now no one will do anything against them and crime is running a bit rampant. People have been robed, banks have been robed, and people have been assaulted.

For now we are just using wisdom, praying for this city, and trying to stay informed of the happenings. Also tourism is a big money maker for this state and because of all the problems, revenues from tourism are down like 75%. This situation is affecting all of Oaxaca, many of our friends are not making the money they need in order to provide for their families.

I will try to keep everyone updated on what is going on down here. I wish I had photos, and will try to get some soon to show you.

What a hard day!

2006-08-12T09:25:00.000-07:00

Last night as my children and I were going through their night time ritual I had an interesting conversation with my almost 3 year old. He was on the potty as this is #1 on our bedtime ritual list.

Micah: Man, I had such a hard day.

Me (trying not to laugh and wondering how this could be possible):Wow, are you sure, didn't you play a lot?

Micah: Yah with Madeline( friend not his sister) the girl, you know. We blew bubles and you know and stuff.

Sometimes I am amazed at the hilarious things kids say....What are your kids saying?

Baby Charlsie's Due Date

2006-08-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

Today was the due date of our daughter Charlsie Grace. I know she could have been born a few days early or a few days late but this is the day I will be remembering her on as well as June 16, the day she was born still. It has been almost 8 weeks now. I do not know how people do this with out Jesus! He has been a comfort through this all.
I have really been doing well with all of this up until last Friday when I started getting a bit more emotional. But I think that feeling and remembering has been good, it is good to "feel". The other day I read this poem and thought it was very appropriate. It really spoke to me

Child

A tiny life is growing
Inside a cozy place
His arms and legs are flailing
A smile is on his face.
His mother feels a tiny kick
Upon her rounded tummy
And waits impatiently for the day
When she becomes a Mummy.
The babyÂs smile is fading
But his eyes are open wide
He knows that heÂll be leaving soon
But will never see outside.
There arenÂt so many kicks now
In fact thereÂs none at all
Gran says that babyÂs sleeping
And keeps knitting up his shawl.
His life is draining quickly
But no-one knows a thing
A tiny smile fleets his face
When he hears his Mother sing.
He knows that heÂll remember her
And the things he heard her say
Peacefully and happily
The baby drifts away.
Mummy knows that somethingÂs wrong
And is at the clinic before too long
A scan is done and Doctor says
ÂIÂm sorry, babyÂs goneÂ.
The grief is overwhelming
The sadness takes its toll
Friends and family gather round
As heÂs buried in his shawl.
As time goes by and lapses on
His Mother sheds a tear
And hears these words inside her head
ÂMum IÂm always here,
IÂll never ever leave you
Although you may not know
IÂll be beside you every day
Through laughter, joy and woe.
YouÂll never need to miss me
For I am in your heart
And though weÂre in two different worlds
WeÂll never be apartÂ.

Lunch in the Village

2006-08-08T17:29:00.000-07:00

We recently were invited to the Junior High graduation of the mayor's daughter in one of the villages we work in. We were excited about this invitation because sharing Christ's love is all about building relationships for us. We arrived a bit late to the school but in keeping with Mexican tradition they had not started yet. We were asked to sit with the mayor and the city council members. We enjoyed the ceremony which was very different from the ones in the United States. The girls all wore elaborate pink dresses and the students recited poetry and danced to regional music.

Maddie gave a half time show when they had a bit of an intermission, they turned on some music and she decided she wanted to dance. So we had all these village people starting at our daughter who was the only one clapping and dancing with the music.

After the graduation we were asked to eat at the mayors house. Now mind you being the mayor of a village is really more of a title than anything else. This particular guy's house had dirt floors, the pigs were right by the bathroom, and they cook over an open fire. While we were waiting for the meal to be served my kids found some fun things to do....Micah played with some of the kids and Maddie decided that her favorite thing to do was pick up the bottle caps from Corona bottles. I was not too thrilled with this activity but was at a loss for stopping her with out seeming rude so my little girl smelled a little like beer and so did I because she enjoyed passing the caps from a chair to my hand. Ahhh yes what fun!
Then we were served the delicious molÃ© coloradito. They brought out fresh hand made tortillas and that is what we ate with, tortillas and our hands. I had not done that in a very long time, it was fun and the kids had a blast.
After we ate lunch the kids ran off to play and some how found a tub of water. Let me tell you my children have an incredible ability to find water anywhere. I do not really appreciate this ability fully as it usually means I have to clean them up. But non the less they got wet so their father thought it would be a good idea to strip them and let them play in it. They had a blast so there was really no harm done but it was a littleembarrassingg to have my kids naked at this house.
Soon after that we dried them off and went home. We had an hour and a half drive home.

Baby Charlsie Grace

2006-07-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

In my last post I mentioned that I had not posted in awhile and that there was a good reason for that. Tonight I feel like sharing that reason.

I will start from the begining so you can get the full story. Several months ago I became extremly sick. So sick in fact that we got blood and urine tests done. They came back and all our Dr./midwife could tell from them was that I had a virus. We were not too worried until I discovered all of my symptoms linked to an illness called Cholestsis of Pregnancy. One of the risks with this sickness is stillbirth of your baby. I became concerned because I had not felt the baby move as much as normal plus I was itching like crazy which is one of the main symptions of this illness. We had a mission team down at the time so I tried to take it easy as much as possible.

When the team left we prayed and decided that I should head to the states to monitor the baby and just make sure everything was ok. We decided this on a Sunday and I flew out by myself the next day, Monday. On Tues. I had an appointment with my OBGYN. I was admited to the hospital for testing. They looked for a heartbeat but were having trouble finding it. Then they brought in an ultrasound machine. They hooked me up and after a few seconds the technician looked at me and said, "I am so sorry there is no heartbeat." I could not believe that my sweet baby was dead. I started to cry and asked if they were sure. There was also no amniotic fluid. The worst part is that I had just felt her move the day before.

They were very kind and super concerned for me at the hospital.I called Michael and he and I cried over the phone together. He then went to work getting a flight booked for himself and the kids. They were set to arrive that same day at 4pm. I called my wonderful grandmother and she agreed to come pick me up and meet them at the airport. My cousin Annie and her son also came down, they were such a blessing! After the hospital I drove myself to my brothers. I enjoyed the time to myself. I was able to screem and cry all I wanted to.

At one point that day I saw a newborn with his mommy and it took everything in me not to burst into tears. When I saw Michael at the airport we just held each other tight and cried for a few minutes. I was so glad he was able to come so quickly! We had lots of decisions to make and we needed each others support.

We decided that we would be induced and settled on that Fri. the 16th. In between that time we made funeral arraingments and spent quality time with the kids. My worst fear was that someone would ask about my pregnancy, but thank God no one ever did.

Thursday the 15th of June we left the kids with some good friends. It was nice having someone we trused to leave them with. Then we drove to a hotel in San Antonio since we had to be at the hospital early.

When we arrived at the hospital and before they induced me we were told that I had contracted Hepatitis A and that I also had Cholestasis of Pregnancy. The Cholestasis we believe lead to the stillbirth. They then induced me and said it would probably take about 12 hours for the baby to be born since I was only 32 weeks along. We started the process and I was scared to death, I mean I have done natural childbirth with the other two but I was at home and I let it happen naturally, but I had heard so many horror stories about induceing that I was really scared. God was so good to us though, we got a wonderful Christian nurse who printed out information on Hep. A for us, reasured us and was just a true comfort. I was really feeling sorry for whoever had to help us, because no one wants to deliever a dead baby, but she never made us feel badly. The contractions started coming and with in 45 minutes I really had to concentrate through them, I told Michael and the nurse that they felt like transition contractions, but I thought that could not be so since so little time had passed.

We had decided in advance that I would take a sedative for the pain since it would not affect the baby because she was already gone. I asked for the sedative and three minutes afterwards I felt the urge to push, well I told the nurse this but did not think it was real since it had only been an hour since everything had been put into motion. Well she checked and sure enough the baby was ready to be pushed out. I barely pushed 2 times and out she came. I told Michael that through this short labor and easy pushing I really felt that God loved me, I think I had doubted it since the day I had found out our baby had died.

Baby Charlsie Grace, as we decided to call her, was truly beautiful. She was 3lb. 2oz. and 18 in. long. We named her Charlsie after my grandmother and myself. We had decided on that name even before I got pregnant with her. And Grace because it was only by HIS grace that we got through this horrible situtaion. We held her for awhile and then a wonderful lady came in to clean her up and dress her. This sweet lady suffered a loss herself and so now makes it her mission to help out with stillbirths whenever she is on duty. I was so blessed by her act of kindness. I did not think my baby woudl be treated like all the rest but she was, she was cared for, talked to, and made beautiful by this kind woman.

My brother came bearing breakfast taco's, thank you Pete dear! Hospital food really is as bad as they say it is. And my cousin Annie and her son came too. I was so happy for their presence. Michael and I spent some more time with our baby girl, and about 6 hours after she was born we said goodbye to her and went to our hotel. I was glad to be out of the hospital, but I missed our baby girl, my arms ached to hold her.

The next day we went back to Kerrville to get the kids. That Sunday we burried our little girl on top of my grandparents property in Hunt. She is under a tree in a beautiful spot. Michael carried her little white cofine and laid her in her grave, I thought it was fitting since she was daddy's little girl.

We spent the next week doing family things. It was a wonderful time to reconect and spend time together.

We still miss our little girl very much but, God has been faithful in giving us peace and grace, and I do not know how we would have gotten through this time without all of the prayers of our friends and family.
Well I know I have left some parts out and this is very very long but I want it written down for myself and for those who wish to know.
In memory of Charlsie Grace, I love you baby girl!

It's Been Awhile

2006-07-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a while since my last blog, but there are good resons for that. I will post about them soon. But for now I just wanted to show a picture of hubby and I when we went out on a date last night. Our summer staff watched the kids for us and we got all dressed up and went out on the town for some much needed couple time. My good friend Christa picked out my dress for me, after Michael asked her to at the last minute, for my birthday. I love it! We went to our favorite restaurant, La Toscana, and had wonderful adult conversation, without any interuptions except when the waiter brought more delicious food!

Ok Here Goes.....

2006-05-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

All right, Michael has shown me how to post so now I have no more excussess! I am commited, I will have to start posting now, I don't have a choice, hehe! At least I have lots of ideas on what to write about.
For this time though I will just put some pictures of the kids for those of you who would like to see them!
Enjoy.....

The top picture is the kids in the wash tub we call a pool, we have looked everywhere for some of those hard plastic pools and can't find them! How frustrating.
Next pic. is of Maddie all muddie, we recently put in grass and the kids have had so much fun with our back yard now but if the water is on they get really dirty.
And the last picture is of the two kids in front of their tent when we went camping in the mountains, lets just say that trip was a bit of a disaster when everyone ended up in our tent in the middle of the night!

Portland Bros

2006-04-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

Our trip to Sn. Pedro with Jason, Leo, and Victor was a great experience.

Not sure if this is Jesus coming back or Jason!

Looks like Leo and Mike are getting some bellies; Michael's is sypathy weight gain, what is Leo's excuse?